So long Deadspin. The anorexic Jewish James Spader must now run off to his weekend gig—selling counterfeit menorahs on the street in exchange for methadone.

Under Billy Beane, the Oakland A's won by scraping together undervalued assets. Since the rest of baseball has started valuing assets properly, the A's are having a harder time. The same thing is happening to baseball's leading propeller-heads.

The Pirates first baseman on this week's Nate McLouth deal: "It's kind of like being with your platoon in a battle, and guys keep dropping around you." Kellen Winslow adds: "We don't care about nobody except this P." [ESPN]

Deadspin made its name by latching onto strange sports ephemera: a Buckeye-supporting masturbator, a lazy dinosaur, Ned. But for every gem this place copies from less-famous sports blogs, there are dozens more its editors are too lazy to steal.

The second French Open men's semi inexplicably isn't on TV. You can listen to the fifth set live on the radio ... tennis without all of that pesky seeing who hits the ball. [Radio Roland Garros]

Nobody seems to care all that much that Memphis basketball players Derrick Rose and Robert Dozier allegedly cheated on their SATs. But what might have happened if the news had come out a little sooner?

Jose Reyes out indefinitely with a torn hamstring tendon. Also: Johan Santana contracts scarlet fever, team forced to burn down Citi Field to avoid contamination. [New York Daily News]

Yao Ming set to star in Chinese animated movie. [ESPN]

The Orioles' Gregg Zaun has been mocked all year as nothing but a "placeholder" for super-prospect Matt Wieters. The perennial backup catcher, however, outshines young Wieters and every other pro athlete in the most important category of all: Flash animation.

Jim Bowden, the disgraced ex-Nationals GM, stands accused of stealing ballplayers' bonus money. The team he built is on pace to lose 118 games. Naturally, ESPN wanted to hire him.